How are you doing today. My soul is happy, healthy, and content. #1. I have my health. #2. I love the Lord, and He loves me back. #3. I am confident that I will defeat debt in my future!!!
I am taking a class now entitled, "Where'd my money go?" It's definitely caused me to take stock of exactly what and where I've been putting my money. I know that I have been sort of out of control. You ever go through that? When you'll use the credit card to make a purchase for something that you really don't need. But at the time of purchase, I want it. I love to go shopping. I love purchasing things for my grand kids, but honestly, do I want to spend the next 5 years paying that debt? And is 12% interest ok with me? I had never even given much thought to these questions before, but now I am. I am thinking that I have been completely foolish with my credit cards.
I cannot tell you how much money I have spent on trying to attain a job at home. You know, those simple little advertisements that come into your mailbox offering thousands of dollars a day working from home. It's completely crazy the amount of power those little ads have on someone who's hurting, broke, and depressed. I have finally had to cut up my credit cards so that I won't use them. So that I won't even be a little tempted. If I don't have the cash, I don't need it.
And now I see what's happening in the news with the real estate bail out. Are you kidding me? It's not like I haven't sacrificed to continue to pay my own mortgage in a market that costs me more for food and gasoline. And why must I now be penalized for doing the right thing? I am not in agreement with the Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac Bailout! But does how I feel about it help me at all?
This is going to be difficult to let go of. Because this will cost me in taxes just as much as it will cost my grand children and great grand children for all the tax cuts that have massaged the nation. Not to mention the fact that I won't be able to count on social security for my future when I am too old to work. Never mind that I just spent the past five years having major surgeries and not getting disability insurance for it. More than anything this pisses me off royally because I have to pay into the system when I work, yet as a handicapped person I cannot get my return. Oh I am ANGRY, BLOOD RED MAD about this.
Hence, the cause for my blog. The last time the Social Security Administration Disability Board declined my case for disability, I began blogging, just to have an outlet, and initially, it worked, but the news recently, about me having to pay for the Bail OUT of the Real Estate situation just causes great stress inside me with no release! I could scream!
Is there no wonder why people go postal!!!
Last week I worked a 40 hour week, just sitting and answering a phone, and because of my handicap I spent the weekend and everyday through Wednesday, working part time and resting, just to make ends meet in the financial ends of my home, and I don't qualify for disability insurance. No one could ever convince me that I wasn't discriminited against. Maybe it's because I am black, but I would never be able to prove that. I simply must move on. Trying to resolve that I do what I do, and that's all I can do.
Knowing all that, I intend to leave the written word, and get out and go to my part time job that helps me make some money to survive this existence. I will keep smiling, because that's what gets me through. Enjoy your day!
