Happy New Year to You All
the number one resolution - "quitting smoking"
http://www.kpcnews.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=23665:Quitting-smoking-is-top-New-Year%E2%80%99s-resolution&catid=51:latest&Itemid=79
Can you believe that less than 1000 posts for quitting smoking exist online through google, and yet if I look up handbags in the search engine, i get more than 2000 results. (What does that tell you?)
2011 is coming to an end and 2012 is on our heels now. It should be a time of looking 2011 in the rear view... all the sporting events of 2011, all the news worthy stories, all the discoveries of 2011 coming to an end, and just like every other year, we all have things we want to begin anew in the new year. I think the biggest ones are, "I want to lose weight", or "I want to quit smoking". I am sure there are those which are much less glamorous, like, "i'd like to be more agressive", coming from someone who's sort of a wall flower; or for someone who's far too aggressive, "i'd like to control my temper this year", but overall they are the hopes and dreams that will carry you into a new year.
2011 has been successful for me, it's the 1st year in more than 30 (thirty) that i have gone without smoking cigarettes. I have actually made it through the entire year, and i am very proud of myself. But it wasn't easy. I had days when I just didn't think i could make it through, and then there were days, i made it through with flying colors. But there were years of practice before making my hope of becoming a non-smoker a reality. There will probably be news reports on television about the odds of being someone successful in their hopes of quitting something. And mostly, they have done the leg work, but if you were someone who abuses drugs, and you want to make this year special, by quitting, don't let anyone tell you that you can't. If you feel you've had it with being heavy and want to lose some weight, don't listen to that voice within your own brain that repeats all your old feelings of insecurity. If you are going to become successful at what you desire, you have to see, hear, touch, smell, and rise above your old mind set. If reading is something that will be encouraging for you, read. If like me, you are a walker, then Walk; if you like art, use your love for art to encourage yourself.
I am saying all of this because, having been around the block a couple of times now, I know that there are fears that we all share, the ones that keep us doing the things we probably want to rid ourselves of, but don't because of the fearful voice inside of us, that same voice that took us off our path in the first place, that doesn't want to see us succeed. In order to become successful at quitting smoking, I had to stop listening to the little voice that always said to me, "who cares? You are never going to quit anyway". And the odds of me quitting was really not in that voices' best interest. So, while being successful at your New Year's resolution would be great 1st time out, don't count on it, but never give up.
I was so afraid that once I quit smoking i would be less than cool, and boring to be around, when in all actuality, I am more easy to be around because I don't smell like an ashtray anymore, and when I find myself not being the cool person, I just think about how, my grandchildren all think that I am cool as a non-smoker.
Yeah, I finally accomplished my goal of becoming a non-smoker, but without all the previous years of trying, i could not have been this successful. I know that. All the little starts and stops actually gave me more confidence each time to continue to try and make this the final accomplishment of my life. I did it. I know that you too can quit smoking if you give yourself permission.
So, ring in 2012 with a shout, and do what it's in your heart to do, and i want to wish you great success today and next year.
See you on the other side!
Writing to live, living to write.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Journaling
"The man who does not read good
books has no advantage over the
man who cannot read them."
- Mark Twain
I am in the throes of a book entitled Creative Journal Writing by Stephanie Dowrick. A very good read so far, easy to comprehend and follow, and everything seems to be like an echo in my spirit, as I read the pages that describe my journaling life. Since I have been journaling on and off for more than 20 years I feel equally accomplished at the task of putting what is in my heart right down on the page. Sometimes it's just a few words, and sometimes it's many, but however many words, it's a release from my spirit to the world around me. I feel very accomplished, very happy, and totally satisfied with myself, despite my circumstances.
The other day I had to run out to the store and pick up some vegetables and fruit; and on my way out, as I was pulling away from the store, I saw a Sister and her sister or friend walking to their vehicle, and as I watched them as they crossed in front of my vehicle, just for a moment, I felt a sadness come over me. Of course, the moment that happens, I begin praying, but I found myself feeling sad for me. Maybe because I don't have any money to dress that nicely, maybe because I never had a sister, or even a good friend that I could go to the store with. I have been living away from my family for more than 12 years, and have yet to find that kind of friend. So, as I watched them pass, I began to pray, and feel the circumstances of being unemployed. Not that being unemployed is bad, but let's face it, working for money is where I have come up short for more years than I care to remember. Being unemployed means watching the means you have very closely, and getting away from the creditors that try to suck and drain your hard earned money for their benefit.
But I digress, as I was grateful for them, sister to sister, having someone to share a trip to the store with is truly a gift. And by the time I pulled up to the curb side with no oncoming traffic, pulling into the turning lane, I looked at the car in front of me, with only 1 (one) passenger, the car on the side of me, (1) one person, and the car across the street waiting for the traffic light, another single person in the car, I didn't feel so alone, and I felt grateful to have seen the sisters together. And by that time, was able to pray to God through Christ for the privilege of having seen them, sharing.
Good thing for journaling, because now that I have written that moment down, it makes it even more edifying, and I know that I am OK.
Writing to Live, Living to Write
books has no advantage over the
man who cannot read them."
- Mark Twain
I am in the throes of a book entitled Creative Journal Writing by Stephanie Dowrick. A very good read so far, easy to comprehend and follow, and everything seems to be like an echo in my spirit, as I read the pages that describe my journaling life. Since I have been journaling on and off for more than 20 years I feel equally accomplished at the task of putting what is in my heart right down on the page. Sometimes it's just a few words, and sometimes it's many, but however many words, it's a release from my spirit to the world around me. I feel very accomplished, very happy, and totally satisfied with myself, despite my circumstances.
The other day I had to run out to the store and pick up some vegetables and fruit; and on my way out, as I was pulling away from the store, I saw a Sister and her sister or friend walking to their vehicle, and as I watched them as they crossed in front of my vehicle, just for a moment, I felt a sadness come over me. Of course, the moment that happens, I begin praying, but I found myself feeling sad for me. Maybe because I don't have any money to dress that nicely, maybe because I never had a sister, or even a good friend that I could go to the store with. I have been living away from my family for more than 12 years, and have yet to find that kind of friend. So, as I watched them pass, I began to pray, and feel the circumstances of being unemployed. Not that being unemployed is bad, but let's face it, working for money is where I have come up short for more years than I care to remember. Being unemployed means watching the means you have very closely, and getting away from the creditors that try to suck and drain your hard earned money for their benefit.
But I digress, as I was grateful for them, sister to sister, having someone to share a trip to the store with is truly a gift. And by the time I pulled up to the curb side with no oncoming traffic, pulling into the turning lane, I looked at the car in front of me, with only 1 (one) passenger, the car on the side of me, (1) one person, and the car across the street waiting for the traffic light, another single person in the car, I didn't feel so alone, and I felt grateful to have seen the sisters together. And by that time, was able to pray to God through Christ for the privilege of having seen them, sharing.
Good thing for journaling, because now that I have written that moment down, it makes it even more edifying, and I know that I am OK.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
The Workings of Puzzling
Well, Several months have gone by now, and I have been putting puzzles together, and having a great deal of peace doing it, but I think I must be one of a few. I look up puzzling, and I see Soduko puzzles, or crossword puzzles, and even jigsaw puzzles, but corresponding with others who sit and put a jigsaw puzzle together... well, You must be out there!
When I was a young girl, probably back in the 60's, when I'd visit my grandmother, I noticed she always had a puzzle going. It must have had a subliminal effect on me, because, I didn't really start my puzzling until my kids were old enough to leave the pieces alone. I mean, who gets to the end of a puzzle to find that all the pieces aren't there?
So, for a long period of time, I didn't think about it. My kids were too young for me to explore the puzzling arena. And life was far to busy with the aerobic field just hitting the state with full force in the 70's and 80's. I gave it my all. I was thin and svelte, I was at peace, healthy, and very much encouraged raising my young children. Now I am telling my age, but the movement to eat healthy and exercise hit like a tidal wave, and I was first to be in that movement. The way it made me feel made me want more and more until I became too ill to walk. The doctors called it Fibromyalgia. This was in the 80's, and from that time to date... I have used walking as a tool to keep me from feeling poorly.
But I digress, Puzzling was a tool I used in my life when all the kids left home to explore their own futures. I have been taking care of my granddaughter most of her life, so I didn't puzzle again, until she became old enough to go to grade school. And since that time, I have put puzzles together. Now, it's great as a form of therapy, since I cannot get out like I did when I was younger. And I know that there must be others out there that puzzle. Whether it's crossword, forward thinking puzzles or puzzle boxes, I am sure that people are using puzzles to exercise their gray matter, and remain sharp in our technologically advanced society. I intend to bring puzzles back, because you don't get courage watching the Television and finding other people do odd things on those reality shows. But you do get courage by starting a project and completing it.
Writing to Live, Living to Write
When I was a young girl, probably back in the 60's, when I'd visit my grandmother, I noticed she always had a puzzle going. It must have had a subliminal effect on me, because, I didn't really start my puzzling until my kids were old enough to leave the pieces alone. I mean, who gets to the end of a puzzle to find that all the pieces aren't there?
So, for a long period of time, I didn't think about it. My kids were too young for me to explore the puzzling arena. And life was far to busy with the aerobic field just hitting the state with full force in the 70's and 80's. I gave it my all. I was thin and svelte, I was at peace, healthy, and very much encouraged raising my young children. Now I am telling my age, but the movement to eat healthy and exercise hit like a tidal wave, and I was first to be in that movement. The way it made me feel made me want more and more until I became too ill to walk. The doctors called it Fibromyalgia. This was in the 80's, and from that time to date... I have used walking as a tool to keep me from feeling poorly.
But I digress, Puzzling was a tool I used in my life when all the kids left home to explore their own futures. I have been taking care of my granddaughter most of her life, so I didn't puzzle again, until she became old enough to go to grade school. And since that time, I have put puzzles together. Now, it's great as a form of therapy, since I cannot get out like I did when I was younger. And I know that there must be others out there that puzzle. Whether it's crossword, forward thinking puzzles or puzzle boxes, I am sure that people are using puzzles to exercise their gray matter, and remain sharp in our technologically advanced society. I intend to bring puzzles back, because you don't get courage watching the Television and finding other people do odd things on those reality shows. But you do get courage by starting a project and completing it.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
SUCCESS!
What does success mean to you? A lot of money? a Job that You Love? Happiness with your familial relationships? To me, success is being at peace with myself and the world around me. I cannot control the cost of groceries or gas, but I find there's a sense of peace at having the foods that I need to keep myself and my family nourished. There's a peace when the grandchildren laugh. There's always a peace at accomplishing something better. And I try everyday, to accomplish something better.
This past weekend the garage sale, it was successful, i managed to unclutter the house, i managed to put a little change in my pocket, and I managed to be at peace with myself. after the work that's involved in cleaning out some of the cabinets and closets. As I continue the road of finding out who and what I want to be and do from home, I know now that it's actually possible to work from home without having to pay my money out for another scam. I hate being scammed. And trust me, I have paid out more money that the law allows, with no retribution to get my money back, because online, people find ways to separate you from your dollars. But I am finally on the right path to actually working from home.
Living to Write, Writing to Love.
This past weekend the garage sale, it was successful, i managed to unclutter the house, i managed to put a little change in my pocket, and I managed to be at peace with myself. after the work that's involved in cleaning out some of the cabinets and closets. As I continue the road of finding out who and what I want to be and do from home, I know now that it's actually possible to work from home without having to pay my money out for another scam. I hate being scammed. And trust me, I have paid out more money that the law allows, with no retribution to get my money back, because online, people find ways to separate you from your dollars. But I am finally on the right path to actually working from home.
Rain
Finally, after a long hot spring/summer, we have been listening to the sound of rain for over 24hours. It's amazing how peaceful you can feel, while sitting and listening to the rain. Of course, I don't believe this is anything new, people have known it for years, but in our current state of the nation, it helps to be provided with peace, where the calm of the earth glistens and allows you to escape the stress of smog, consumption, and discontent. It's a gravity that happens in the winter when the snow falls for the first time. You look out your window and can actually feel alive. What is our life without these moments?
Writing to Live, Living to Write
Friday, October 7, 2011
Puzzling
My son is going to be incarcerated for the next 4 years or so, I don't even know the charges... I told my kids when they were young, if you get caught up and end up in jail, don't expect me to come visit you, because all my youth I explained to them the difficulty in the world, and how to avoid it, and if they went against that, then what can I do? You do a crime, You do the time... rule of the streets. Who's going to serve that time, well my son is for sure, but there are tears on my face that just never dry, because as he suffers that time, i most certainly do also, praying continually that God will keep him, and that he'll remain healthy and spiritually uplifted.
The other day, Amanda Knox was released from an Italian jail system, and it bought tears to my eyes as I watched her heartfelt words for those who supported her, but today on the internet, it's not the front page news any longer. The stories just keep coming, and the internet, just keeps spinning around the world, with millions, like myself, putting words out there to be read by who ever happens in. It's my life, and the commonness we share is that we love writing.
So, puzzling is how I continue my love. I would love to write my stories down, like a narrative, but day by day, journaling is more my style. Until I can find gainful employment, it's most constant.
Yesterday I watched a movie called, "Everything Must Go" with Will Farrell... a different role for him, but a good story.
After having a garage sale just last weekend, I guess you could say I relate. I've been unemployed now for nearly 2 years, and I was never the CEO of anything except this house, and unemployment doesn't help.
Last weekend my granddaughters flushed something down the toilet and caused the system to back up, and so the money that I made from selling old things went right back into getting the plumbing fixed. And why didn't I think to become a plumber? They get paid very well. Roto Rooter coundn't have been her for more than 15 minutes, and it cost a bill. $100!!!
That's just crazy right? But that the way it is. I must accept it and move on. Back to puzzling...
The colors run together so much I don't even make areas, I am building this puzzle from the ground up and it's coming out find, as you can see from the previous puzzle, "Time Well Spent" by Henry Lee Battle, it' deserves a frame, and a place on a wall.
I think it's the least expensive way to get wall art right?
Thursday, October 6, 2011
The Garage Sale... Success
Sweet Success, OK, it's been a long time, and I didn't have any SMC items to sell... but all in all, I found out that, you can make a few dollars to help with the cost of food and gas from your home doing a garage sale. But get this, the city only allows 2 (two) a year. Are you kidding me?
I have spent a lot more time than that at the god of the mall, and the god of other garage sales, trying to find those cute little things that will make me happy. And selling some cute things was impossible. I think I priced them too high, and I also noticed that my home is decorated with African American Art. So, I didn't sell any of my African American figurines, and i also didn't sell any of my stemware, but what the heck, I bought it all back in the house and placed it all back into the china cabinet. Which also didn't sell... but it gives me a place to put those things that my granddaughters and grandson can't touch.
So, thank you Donna Partow, I have found your book to be very enlightening, and like a road map to make a home business.
Making my something better is taking on a whole new light. And I am not mad about that.
Living to Write, Writing to Live
I have spent a lot more time than that at the god of the mall, and the god of other garage sales, trying to find those cute little things that will make me happy. And selling some cute things was impossible. I think I priced them too high, and I also noticed that my home is decorated with African American Art. So, I didn't sell any of my African American figurines, and i also didn't sell any of my stemware, but what the heck, I bought it all back in the house and placed it all back into the china cabinet. Which also didn't sell... but it gives me a place to put those things that my granddaughters and grandson can't touch.
So, thank you Donna Partow, I have found your book to be very enlightening, and like a road map to make a home business.
Making my something better is taking on a whole new light. And I am not mad about that.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
GARAGE SALE
It's come to the time, tomorrow I start selling off old books, coats, shoes, clothes, children's things, and my heart, my knitting magazines and books. Now, it brought tears to my eyes when I put a price on my knitting books. I've spent a lifetime reading about knitting, knitting, and learning various styles of knitting. So, whether the knitting books sell will depend, because I am not parting with them cheaply., I have gone online to Amazon.com to find out what those books would be worth were I to buy them used, and priced accordingly. Some books I will give away, FREE, and some of the old shelves, and knick knacks around my house I will part with for a song, but my crystal champagne glasses, crystal clocks and figurines are things that I have because over the years you collect stuff. And those stuff, I love, so parting with some of them will be difficult, but I will for the right price. I don't want to price too high, but I also don't want to devalue my years of collecting.
So... it's going to be a wonderful experience since I haven't had a garage sale in years, but it's also going to be a pleasure to get some of this stuff just cleared out. I was once a dressmaker, now I use my computer practically 3-4 hours a day. Once I knitted sweaters, and crotchet aftghans. now I put puzzles together. While the kids were young and I spent time reading childrens books, now I take my grandchildren to the library and borrow their books. Once I spent long hours in the kitchen cooking being inspired by music on CD, now I have a iTune and it's quite compact. Once I played with my childrens organ, now it sits in a closet collecting dust. The things we collect over periods in our life truly gets out of hand when we don't go through it when we are done with those things. And I am sure you've heard the phrase, "one mans junk, another man's treasure". So, while the things i once cherished, are now dust collectors, they might fit just right in someone else's life.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Preparing for my Garage Sale
After more than thirty years of marriage there are bound to be things that need to be gotten rid of. Especially when you are a professional at garage sales, and second hand store things. In a consumer driven industry, when you don't have a lot of money, the second hand stores and garage sales provide you that release you need, shopping for something without spending a lot of money, and finding beautiful things that someone else owned, but discarded or lost, or maybe even passed on to the next life, and left. Where it all comes from, doesn't even matter. It's the idea that if you can't afford the mall, you go to the second hand store and you are destined to find something.
Once I went out looking, and i mean searching, for a 'podium'. I wanted a place to place my bible, so that whenever i got the mind to, i could just open it up and read it. Like when I get on my soap box. Or when I get a feeling of dread, or loneliness, the bible is my word, the living word. Who wouldn't want a podium? Right? Well, believe it or not, i found one, but it was sold to a minister who wouldn't part with it. I don't blame him, I wouldn't have either.
But that didn't stop me from finding something of use that day. Clothes for my granddaughters. I love trinkets, and anything shiny things like champagne flutes, or wine glasses, or coffee mugs. I even once went out in search of a desk, to place my sewing machine on, because the vibrations rattled the little 36" table that I picked up from (of all places) Walmart.
Well, it's time to get rid of things and possibly earn a little cash on the side, and going through all those things, brought up many memories. I found pictures of my kids, when they were born... my oldest son being more than 30 years, and I thought I had all my pictures in one place, but I have more pictures than can be counted. And there's something about going back and looking at photos, something about actually seeing them, turning the pages of the photo album that gives one a feeling indescribable. The digital age makes a lot of things like pictures in albums obsolete, but I don't ever believe that a photo album gift isn't something that will always be cherished by the receiver of said gift.
So, while I continue to go through my house preparing for my garage sale, i know that there are a few things that i must do to make it successful. It's important to advertise in a local paper. And with Craig's List, it makes it more successful to advertise even there.
Now with all my things, I hope to make this day something better. Living to Write, Writing to Live.
Once I went out looking, and i mean searching, for a 'podium'. I wanted a place to place my bible, so that whenever i got the mind to, i could just open it up and read it. Like when I get on my soap box. Or when I get a feeling of dread, or loneliness, the bible is my word, the living word. Who wouldn't want a podium? Right? Well, believe it or not, i found one, but it was sold to a minister who wouldn't part with it. I don't blame him, I wouldn't have either.
But that didn't stop me from finding something of use that day. Clothes for my granddaughters. I love trinkets, and anything shiny things like champagne flutes, or wine glasses, or coffee mugs. I even once went out in search of a desk, to place my sewing machine on, because the vibrations rattled the little 36" table that I picked up from (of all places) Walmart.
Well, it's time to get rid of things and possibly earn a little cash on the side, and going through all those things, brought up many memories. I found pictures of my kids, when they were born... my oldest son being more than 30 years, and I thought I had all my pictures in one place, but I have more pictures than can be counted. And there's something about going back and looking at photos, something about actually seeing them, turning the pages of the photo album that gives one a feeling indescribable. The digital age makes a lot of things like pictures in albums obsolete, but I don't ever believe that a photo album gift isn't something that will always be cherished by the receiver of said gift.
So, while I continue to go through my house preparing for my garage sale, i know that there are a few things that i must do to make it successful. It's important to advertise in a local paper. And with Craig's List, it makes it more successful to advertise even there.
Now with all my things, I hope to make this day something better. Living to Write, Writing to Live.
Things they are a changin
What happened after that, i cannot even speak about, but I am yet alive, therefore, i can still say, I am happy within because despite the sever arthritis that caused my kids to become people i don't even know, or want to know, i live, and as long as there is breath in my body I will give all power to Him who believes in me more than I believe in myself.
So, I do well, and since it's over, done, the end of this day, I sit and relax, and remember the trip to the library with little people who'll one day become big people, who'll hope and dream, and maybe even make magic happen, I thank God, I Live to 'Write', and I write to live.
Afterall, these are the moments worth living, and with that in mind, I bid you Good night!
Sunday, September 25, 2011
It's Sunday Again,
This morning, Father,
I awoke, but knowing that we had no coffee I just went to the corner supermarket and purchased some coffee. In addition, I purchased Amaretto cream; which i walked all the way over to the milk section thinking that I would find coffee mixes there. Wrong. They were on the same isle as the coffees!
It's still pretty quiet when I get up in the morning, so I am most relaxed, getting the body moving very slowly, and the same with the gray matter in my head, just moving slowly.
I can hear the nuts hit the ground this morning, since there is a walnut tree right outside my back yard.
Last week, Friday, I paid for someone to take down the two trees in my life than have shaded our house for more than 12 (twelve) years. The evergreen use to house woodpeckers, but i think when the new beetle moved in, the woodpeckers left, and i don't hear them any more.
The tree stood the tallest in the front yard, and every time you gazed upon it, you could feel the majesty. You could tell that there was something grand there.
I'll miss you evergreen of the front yard. And the little poor looking crab apple tree. Who plants a fruit bearing tree in the front yard? There was a peach tree out there right in front of the curb; you can just imagine what happened to it when the fruit fell to the street below it, and the cars ran over them. Who would do that?
I've lived in this house for more than twelve years now, and I have learned that until you actually take special time to pay special attention to your house, you really don't have an investment.
I did the credit card thing so long, i bankrupted us. And guess what? No one came along to bail us out. We had to budget, live less extravagantly, buy only the things we really needed, and spend more time as a family. I've learned that those were the times we remember most in this life. We put puzzles together, we create good food, and we eat together now frequently. I like that a lot. Especially when my children cook, and take the time to prepare a meal. That's something money can't buy.
Our front yard is now a clean slate to create. Being the creative person that i am I pray to Father, through Jesus Christ my Lord, to make something grand.
Living to Write, and Writing to live, this is my something special.
I awoke, but knowing that we had no coffee I just went to the corner supermarket and purchased some coffee. In addition, I purchased Amaretto cream; which i walked all the way over to the milk section thinking that I would find coffee mixes there. Wrong. They were on the same isle as the coffees!
It's still pretty quiet when I get up in the morning, so I am most relaxed, getting the body moving very slowly, and the same with the gray matter in my head, just moving slowly.
I can hear the nuts hit the ground this morning, since there is a walnut tree right outside my back yard.
Last week, Friday, I paid for someone to take down the two trees in my life than have shaded our house for more than 12 (twelve) years. The evergreen use to house woodpeckers, but i think when the new beetle moved in, the woodpeckers left, and i don't hear them any more.
The tree stood the tallest in the front yard, and every time you gazed upon it, you could feel the majesty. You could tell that there was something grand there.
I'll miss you evergreen of the front yard. And the little poor looking crab apple tree. Who plants a fruit bearing tree in the front yard? There was a peach tree out there right in front of the curb; you can just imagine what happened to it when the fruit fell to the street below it, and the cars ran over them. Who would do that?
I've lived in this house for more than twelve years now, and I have learned that until you actually take special time to pay special attention to your house, you really don't have an investment.
I did the credit card thing so long, i bankrupted us. And guess what? No one came along to bail us out. We had to budget, live less extravagantly, buy only the things we really needed, and spend more time as a family. I've learned that those were the times we remember most in this life. We put puzzles together, we create good food, and we eat together now frequently. I like that a lot. Especially when my children cook, and take the time to prepare a meal. That's something money can't buy.
Our front yard is now a clean slate to create. Being the creative person that i am I pray to Father, through Jesus Christ my Lord, to make something grand.
Living to Write, and Writing to live, this is my something special.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Make Money from Home
I went to the library today! What a wonderful place to be. All the books you could ever think of reading, and all the people happy, because people who read are generally happier. Even better than that, I checked out books pertaining to "Home Businesses", and such related topics. It's like everything that I've been thinking, someone was smart enough to write it all down, and categorize it. Scams, real opportunities, and the like is really a matter of perspective. But one thing I saw, I cannot help but repeat, Please forgive me if You wrote this, but; if you can earn minimum wage doing data input outside the home, why would you believe that you can make over 1400.00 dollars a day doing it part time from home? That hit the mark for me. Why do you think you can earn money mystery shopping, when the pay comes in the form of $10.00 or a reimbursement of your purchase, which has a ceiling? How do you think that you can make money enough to earn a beautiful house, sporty car, and lying on a beach with a portable computer, when you don't ever get to find out what the job is?
I thought to myself, I could have written each and every article that I read today. And I only read through the 1st 5 chapters.
I've seen it in the news, earn money from home, blah blah blah, I bought the course; it cost me $150.00 off my visa card, and the most I did was give my opinion on products I didn't even use. Maybe now it's different, but that road I will not go back down.
Been there, done that. Now, I blog. Notice what goes on in the world and write it down.
Today I paid $2.50 for a dozen eggs. It's time for me to purchase a chicken. I bought a loaf of bread for more than $1.25, can I also bake my own bread? Of course. Will it be enlightening? You bet. Can I also raise a pig or a cow in my back yard? Probably not, but becoming a vegetarian is not in my future.
The very good question is... What am I good at, and can I see myself doing it?
Am I prepared to work at home for real doing something I love rather than watching the idiot box all day?
Is it possible to manage my time, and proactively seek out my fortune?
These are all the best questions that require deep insight to know what I am going to spend the rest of my days doing. Maybe, like my son, I have my whole life ahead of me, and rather than consider my entire life a failure because I didn't accomplish my goals, I could continue to try and not give up until I succeed. That would sure make for a better ride through this thing called life than lying down, and wallowing in self pity.
I am going to continue to put forth my best foot, but another important point I want to make before I go... Unless I stand up for something, I will fall for anything. Time for me to be the best that I can be, and that means making My Something Better.
I have never finished a puzzle and missed pieces, much less finished one that had so much black in it, but since my granddaughters have moved in with me, I am undone, but not failed. I still Love that puzzle, Henry Lee Battle. Thank You for that!
Monday, September 19, 2011
Pat Matheny
Have you seen him in concert? I haven't but I have listened to his traveling music for years. I don't want to date myself, but when I take a road trip, I play his music. His inspiration towards a better day will always be a part of my life.
Last night, a young friend took me and my daughter out, and when we were at the Jazz Lab in Edmond Oklahoma, I cannot tell you how wonderful it was just to be out there, Praising God through Christ in Rap, and without drink or drugs. I have to say that I was inspired, and enlightened. How do they say it? Music covers up all the dirt that drags us down in life. Well, that happened to me last night.
If you know anything about me, you know that I am continually trying to make something better out of life that money cannot buy. But it is going to take some money for me to get to the Pat Matheny jazz exhibition on September 28, 2011. And because of my handicap, I don't work a full time job, and right now, I am puzzling. The picture you see is the last puzzle that I put together. It took me more than a month to finish this puzzle. And when I got to the finish I found that I didn't have all the correct pieces, and in fact, I was missing a piece, but, because of the difficulty and beauty of this puzzle I will not take it apart. I love her. It's called, "Time Well Spent" by Henry Lee Battle, and I have written SunsOut to let them know my delima, but imperfect as she is, she's no different from me.
I believe through living we learn and grow, and many times we get bruised and battered, and finally if we live long enough, we become better people.
This blog is all over the place, but my hope is that you will see me, and help me through donations. $1.00 is not too much. because I want to see Pat Matheny in concert. Part of becoming and making something better is being able to accept help from others. I have always been the kind of person that counted on me and me alone. But with 4 grandchildren, all living with me, and a son and daughter still living at home, I need help. And if you see fit, I have an account with paypal. My entire name is Aleasha Jefferson. And I would appreciate anything you can send so that I can attend that concert. Thank You in advance for your generosity, and love.
May God bless you and keep you.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
The Art of Puzzle Making
This was the first puzzle that I made this year. It was like a stroke of genius, all of a sudden I got this bright idea, to go to Wal-Mart and purchase a puzzle, because I didn’t really have anything else to do, and when you don’t have anything to do, you have to do something. I hadn’t finished a puzzle in a while; so I decided to make a puzzle. We have been having some very hot days. I mean, it’s been so hot outside that I had to do something indoors. So, while sitting around, unable to knit, and just having way too much energy, a puzzle seemed a good outlet, while not being so stressful. While out shopping, I went through the game department to find a puzzle, and I found 2. A beautiful Disney puzzle for Faith, my granddaughter; Snow White and the seven dwarfs, and I found the one above that I worked.
I felt enlightened; I also felt I had a purpose. I immediately began working it, and when you work a puzzle, the best way to begin is to separate the border flat edged pieces from the rest. Whether it’s 300 pieces or 2000 pieces, it’s always easiest to separate the border pieces, from the rest. At the same time, while separating the border pieces, I separate the various colors, like red, green, blue, white, or yellow, and place them each color in separate piles on my canvas. After separating the pieces, I bag the colors in small sandwich bags, according to color, and leave only the border pieces on the matt.
This is when it becomes fun. After having all the colors separated, I begin putting the border together. And once the border is complete, I rest. Whether it’s a day or two or three days before I get back to putting the rest of it together, I sleep well knowing that I have completed the border, and because I chose a puzzle that I want to see completed, I feel confident. I feel like I accomplished something, and truthfully, I did.
Because of the prices of groceries, or the cost of my monthly bills vs. the money that comes into our household, or whatever stress is bothering me, I spend time working through my issues while finding the pieces of a very unique puzzle. I do this so often now, I have managed to slow down the clock, and while I put a puzzle together, the time stops. The only sounds I hear are the gracious voices inside my head, praying for my family, praying for my friends, praying for our President, prayers righteously so, for our country. I cannot fathom the ramblings of commercial television. I cannot be inquisitive about the clothing that’s called fashion, and I especially cannot fathom the rate of interest on an automobile purchase. I enjoy hearing the tick tock of the clock. I love listening to children playing, and imagining what I would do were I to hit the lotto, but realistically, the chances of hitting the lotto which could very possibly range in an area of 18 million to 1… who has time to think and calculate those numbers?... but 1000 pieces in a puzzle, that’s calculable. Each time I find a place for a piece of my work, that number is decreased by one. And the odds of me being successful are better with each piece that I place on the matt. That’s like money in the bank, when you don’t go out with the credit card to purchase something that you thought would make you happy, you don’t spend your money because you hear the call of the commercial. You hold on to the life that is expressed in each moment, be religiously Thankful for each breath. Were you to be God, you’d say that time is halted. And while working the puzzle, the only thing in relation to time is the breath you make during the day in exaltation. It’s a process that our predecessors endeared, hence, they created the very idea of the puzzle. Recently I read that it was around 1930 that the cutting of puzzle pieces was made convenient by complex machinery, prior to that time, people actually cut puzzles by hand. Can you imagine?
So, while it seems a complex hobby, a relative improbability, even a frightening obsession, from the time you choose which puzzles you would like to see complete it becomes a challenge, pitting mind against matter. Laying caution to the wind and doing something that will allow your reality a bit of “peace of mind”.
So, go on out there, choose a puzzle, and work it like you have a renewed hope in your own mind. Be courageous and piece by piece, believe that you can, and you will.
I am going now, on to the next puzzle.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Life
It's been awhile since my last entry, and since life didn't stop with my last entry, it's time for me to enter my "something better!". This past month or so, I have reignited my love for puzzle making. I so enjoy a good puzzle. It's probably not something that I share with everyone, except family members; I don't exactly share that hobby. I have told everyone how I feel about knitting, I probably have even admitted my love for digital photography, but puzzle making?... no!
Initially, I started at Walmart, back in the game department, I found a puzzle that really peaked my interest. A beautiful puzzle of stamps from around the world. I got it home, and couldn't wait to get started. It took about a week, but at the end of that week, I felt like such a "Victor"! I'd accomplished a beautiful piece of art. My inners were thrilled, accomplished, and I felt a self worth that can only be described as "I am a puzzle genius!" That's how I felt after completing my first puzzle. So, I went back to WalMart to find another puzzle, but the choices there were limited, so I used the internet to find out where puzzles were sold other than WalMart. And I found, "seriouspuzzles.com"... Go there! You will not be disappointed. Whether you are looking for a mind bender, or a tool to inspire your young person, you will surely find what you seek. Out of all the sites I found online, I would rate seriouspuzzles.com as the best! 5 Stars being the best!
So, immediately I found a puzzle of my favorite kind; a knitting puzzle. I have a basket that looks a lot like the one that I was ordering. Immediately, I had to have it, and seriouspuzzles.com wasted no time, sending me the puzzle. I received it no more than 5 (five) days later. Immediately, I was on my way... after completing the borders I realized that this wasn't going to be as easy as the previous puzzle. I had a little fear, would I be able to accomplish my goal? Was I smart enough?
Well, today, just an hour or so ago, I completed my puzzle, entitled Knitter's Delight. I feel like I just ran a marathon. I feel as though I won something. And I did. My brain is still sharp, and I still have the ability of using all my wits. Yeah, today, I truly made "Something Better!"
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Friday, August 5, 2011
I am Made whole!
Today I am made whole.
After having just spent the past hour with Ron Kenoly's "God Is Able" CD, I have to enter this day with a renewed hope, a renewed account and perspective of God's Love for all mankind.
I pray for you family and friends. I pray for you.
After having just spent the past hour with Ron Kenoly's "God Is Able" CD, I have to enter this day with a renewed hope, a renewed account and perspective of God's Love for all mankind.
I pray for you family and friends. I pray for you.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
LIFE Puzzle of Stamps
I love puzzles. Kodak, Life, Panoramic Views of New York City, Las Vegas, Hot Air Balloons, Boating areas from Phoenix, Florals, It's been many years that I have been making puzzles.
My granddaughter is learning to love the art of puzzle making as well. You see, without her mother in our house, our lives are a lot simpler, but she gets lonely, and from time to time, I notice her becoming depressed. At eleven years old, I never knew what it was to be depressed. My own childhood had no bad breaks. I was a kid, became a teenager and grew up, but today's youth have so much more to deal with.
Sometimes I don't know what to do to break that depressive spirit; but I am getting better. So, while it's terribly hot outside, we sit inside and we put puzzles together. The picture above is the most recent one we finished. She had a wonderful sense of accomplishment, I Thank God.
We made something better. :)
Monday, July 18, 2011
Writing Words that Mean Something
Everyday, I get up, and the first thing I do is sit down to my personal computer and put word to paper. Sometimes I remember my dreams, sometimes I speak of events from the previous day, sometimes, I just need encouragement because this world becomes too heavy on my shoulders.
I just found out recently (Friday), that my daughter is in jail. She hasn’t been home in nearly a 1/4 of a year, and it was at that time that she left me with my grand daughters, ages eleven, three, and two. Feeling completely overwhelmed, I didn’t know what to do. I am in no condition to raise anymore children. I suffer from severe osteoarthritis. And I don’t mean to disclaim that I am unable, but repeating the past 18 years just isn’t in me.
So, I sit down and express myself on monitor. I cannot imagine what goes on in my daughters mind that makes her turn from everything she's known, to search out a life without the ones she loves. My love of words is what gives me the strength to bear the pain and get through it. Hence, my something better!
Since my eldest grand daughter is living with me, I watch her go through unknowingly, a very painful situation. But each and every day something better happens, that turn my granddaughter’s frown into a smile. And should the day come when she begins to ask the hard questions, I pray that I’ll be able to answer her questions with compassion and tolerance of a situation that I have lived through and learned much love through it evermore.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Today
While in the human form there is little that remains of the human experience, I maintain but one joy, my ability to smile.
On this day I will always look for the peace of mind in this thing called life, it isn’t always easy, due to situations and issues that grieve, but it is a choice daily to make my life better than I ever hoped that life would be, or a love stronger than the touch of a loved one; when the tears well up inside my eyes, but the hope remains in my mouth I will speak and say, “this day has the Lord made, my heart will rejoice and be glad in it.
Ms. Unique
On this day I will always look for the peace of mind in this thing called life, it isn’t always easy, due to situations and issues that grieve, but it is a choice daily to make my life better than I ever hoped that life would be, or a love stronger than the touch of a loved one; when the tears well up inside my eyes, but the hope remains in my mouth I will speak and say, “this day has the Lord made, my heart will rejoice and be glad in it.
Ms. Unique
Friday, June 3, 2011
FRIDAY
You have to love Fridays! Plans the weekend, plans with friends, and plans with Worship of my maker.
Faith has a friend spending the night tonight, allowing her to have more fun with this weekend. Her mother has called her this morning, making it a good day, and we are going to White Water Bay, more swim fun!
The suit we picked for her came from Sears, and she looks good in it, it's like a speedo, with a cut little skirt, Yeah!
I am making Spaghetti today, along with Pizza and Salad, our food choice today promises to replenish the strength we'll need to have the remainder of this weekend.
Make money at home, work online, check out a couple of jobs.
Happy Friday:)
Faith has a friend spending the night tonight, allowing her to have more fun with this weekend. Her mother has called her this morning, making it a good day, and we are going to White Water Bay, more swim fun!
The suit we picked for her came from Sears, and she looks good in it, it's like a speedo, with a cut little skirt, Yeah!
I am making Spaghetti today, along with Pizza and Salad, our food choice today promises to replenish the strength we'll need to have the remainder of this weekend.
Make money at home, work online, check out a couple of jobs.
Happy Friday:)
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Summer Vacation
It's going to be a long hot summer by the pool for my grand daughter and me. We are already looking forward to getting out there, but the summer seems a few days away. Just enough time for us to get ready.
Her: She loves the sporty look: http://www.shopjustice.com/girls-clothing/swimwear/swimsuits
Me: I am older and more shy about putting it all out there, So, I'll be wearing something to cover up most of my scars, but attractive. http://www.lanebryant.com/plus-size-swimwear/view-all/17472c17493/index.cat?intid=LB053111x0007
During our swimming at the local water park, (White Water Bay), we won't have the cash to purchase our snacks from their refreshment counter, and they don't carry apples, oranges, or bananas; they carry french fries, hot dogs, pizza, all things i don't want to include in my early day diet, so we'll have to pack a snack, or visit our friends at 7-11: http://www.7-eleven.com/Hungry/Fresh/Default.aspx . Oh, and we are spending the summer increasing our reading so we'll be reading books.
A trip to the local library is going to be in order! http://www.mls.lib.ok.us/mls/mls_library/ed.htm
During the swimming season, it's most important to take care of your hair. So we'll be using a shampoo/conditioner after getting home, and allowing our hair to sun dry during the evening when we work in the yard. http://www.pantene.com/en-US/african-american-hair/Pages/default.aspx We have a lot of work to do too, so there won't be any boredom.
Here's to hoping your stay cation is as fun as ours :)
Her: She loves the sporty look: http://www.shopjustice.com/girls-clothing/swimwear/swimsuits
Me: I am older and more shy about putting it all out there, So, I'll be wearing something to cover up most of my scars, but attractive. http://www.lanebryant.com/plus-size-swimwear/view-all/17472c17493/index.cat?intid=LB053111x0007
During our swimming at the local water park, (White Water Bay), we won't have the cash to purchase our snacks from their refreshment counter, and they don't carry apples, oranges, or bananas; they carry french fries, hot dogs, pizza, all things i don't want to include in my early day diet, so we'll have to pack a snack, or visit our friends at 7-11: http://www.7-eleven.com/Hungry/Fresh/Default.aspx . Oh, and we are spending the summer increasing our reading so we'll be reading books.
A trip to the local library is going to be in order! http://www.mls.lib.ok.us/mls/mls_library/ed.htm
During the swimming season, it's most important to take care of your hair. So we'll be using a shampoo/conditioner after getting home, and allowing our hair to sun dry during the evening when we work in the yard. http://www.pantene.com/en-US/african-american-hair/Pages/default.aspx We have a lot of work to do too, so there won't be any boredom.
Here's to hoping your stay cation is as fun as ours :)
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Time
Any day of the week,
Time, my most valuable commodity,
Leaves me rushing,
hurrying, wondering, slowing down,
Whatever it takes, just to get
a few moments free. A bit of quiet,
a moment to catch my breath,
and finally, when I climb into my bed,
at days end, and all the days occurrences,
rush through the channels of my mind,
I look back on my time spent, and thank
MY God, for giving me the simplest of things,
TIME
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Let the Sun Shine
It's been a long cold winter. There hasn't been as much ice this year, as in years past, but the cold that beat upon us, still returns from week to week. And I cannot say that it's bad, but I am a Sun Worshiper. I see the Sun in the morning, and a smile just comes over me, and my entire outlook for the day makes the impossible seem possible.
I rise early to see the Sun rise, and today, the sun will rise, but there's going to be clouds above. Possibly rain. It's already 20 degree cooler than it was yesterday. A windy temperature of 45 degrees Fahrenheit is what it is right now. Making something better out of this day is going to take some doing. It's still spring though, and putting on a jacket and getting out and walking will help, but today looks like a good day to call a friend. Have lunch with a loved one. Give some joy to someone else today. I will be encouraged and act accordingly.
Make a Great day:)
I rise early to see the Sun rise, and today, the sun will rise, but there's going to be clouds above. Possibly rain. It's already 20 degree cooler than it was yesterday. A windy temperature of 45 degrees Fahrenheit is what it is right now. Making something better out of this day is going to take some doing. It's still spring though, and putting on a jacket and getting out and walking will help, but today looks like a good day to call a friend. Have lunch with a loved one. Give some joy to someone else today. I will be encouraged and act accordingly.
Make a Great day:)
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
I am doing my best to keep in touch this week, but I had to rise early today. It's time to spring clean. We are going to have a couple of nice winter days with plenty of sun and a little warmer temperatures. Just makes me feel all warm and happy inside knowing that the pool is in the near future.
I have been suffering from severe arthritis for more than 10 years now. I always Thank God for being able to get to water, and get that much needed exercise. This year my granddaughter and I have plans to go to the local water park on a membership basis. I've already taken the storage bags from the closet, and washed and hung our summer clothes, including our swim wear.
It's time to clean out the cabinets from the extra margarine bowls collected; time to clean out the refrigerator, change the box of Arm-n-Hammer, clean cabinets from dust and excess. I always clean out the CD's that I keep in the kitchen because I love cooking to music, but the CD's made such a mess, I finally went to having an i Home in my kitchen to play music now, and the mess is gone. (one less thing to worry about)
I have to clean some carpets, or rather have them cleaned, which is going to be quite expensive, but necessary.
http://hubpages.com/hub/TimetoSpringClean
And through it all, I am not smoking. It's a lot easier to have the time to take care of all these things, keeping my house in order.
Have a wonderful week!
Monday, March 14, 2011
Spring Break
Good Morning, and I pray that You are fine:), having found my little space of internet magic, and mystery.
It's Spring Break this week. My Grand daughter has no school this week, and we will be having some fun; so I thought that today would be the perfect time to come in and put down my Something Better.
Today, I plan our day: beginning with a pin and cut project: we will begin pinning some shorts on paper for her little sisters. I used to be a seamstress, and can still remember how to make a pair of pants apparently:) I thought about teaching her how to knit, but she doesn't seem interested at all in learning to knit. She's very much interested in Clothes however.
Learning how to make your own clothes not only increases self-esteem, but also gives her the opportunity for creativity. I live creativity every minute of every day. She's learning from the best, because Grand ma (Me) began sewing in high school.
I've also planned a trip to the Zoo. We haven't been in a while, and I am also reserving the right to take her one place that she's been wanting to go!
So, this week my Something Better will bring creativity, learning, and satisfaction.
I love that. It's such a help to write these things down. I hope that your spring vacation turns out just as nice or better.
Have a wonderful week.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Here's Hoping
The last day of the week, and my hope is that next week will be undoubtedly better than the past week. There was a lot going on in the world, what with Charlie Sheen being so sought after for news worthy video and print, but there was also a great deal of stress going on in my own home.
So, last week, I put my hope in Walking. I walked my dog. I walked the mall. I just put on my tennis shoes and walked. As the sun rose early Saturday morning, I could see that there was still the beauty of a rising sun in each and every day. I think that I took for granted the beauty of the sunrise. But as I walked in the cold, as the temperatures dropped on Friday, back to the temperature of 31 degrees or lower, I was healing my brokenness during my walk.
Suffering from Arthritis for many years now, I not only walk for the joy of walking, but to give my body the opportunity to flow positive endorphins. I am very stiff, and the enduring cold from winter is not helping, but walking, even though it's cold gives me not only a way to drive the stress from my mind, but it also provides me the opportunity to see how the problems in my life that cause stress, can also be seen as opportunities for growth.
And as the stress flows through my fingertips into sky as I reach high, I know that a better way is going to see me through the day. All the issues that I started walking with dissipate into the concrete through my feet.
As I sit typing this morning, I see the sun coming just over the horizon through my window; I will acknowledge it's beauty and walk in newness today. For there is always hope.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Emotions Run Wild
Faithful Day,
It's interesting in life when you experience a Peacefulness. I believe for the past couple of days. Just a sweet quietness, allowing my brain to process more than 80% of what's actually occurring at any one moment. When the simplest touch of my finger hits the key and word becomes magic. But that comes with the sweet soft sounds of Bob Acri. As I continue to listen to his music, I know that I know.
Don't pretend on me, Don't part me out, Don't Act. Yes, lately I feel as though the Television is telling me what to do, what to wear, what to watch on the Television.
A constant bombardment of puchk and something foul.
Don't get me wrong. There are times when my television is universally going in the way of making us learn something. But for the most part it's an advertising tool. And during all the advertisement i believe people get triggered into doing things. Like a hypnotic suggestion.
People don't even notice it, but you see them all out driving somewhere, going somewhere to eat, drink, shop, entertain, something that takes them somewhere, because of the media that the Television imposes.
For years I have been asking myself, whenever I would get in the car, I would #1. Wonder why so many people are on the road? #2. Where is everybody going?
Am I the only one to Wonder that? or when everyone out there in their car, are they wondering where everyone is going too? But the media of Television is a big deal. They sell them in stores with Huge Abundance like it takes up a huge area. Huge!
And imagine all that power, and add the computer.
Mind Boggling:) :(
Thank You Bob Acri, i Tunes, George Benson, John Legend, Diana Krall, thank you all for allowing my brain to download all the crap that goes in from the Television.
Thank You Jennifer Lopez, Chanel 9 News, and thank You Hollywood for the Oscars. I understand how that's a big deal, a big night for you, and recently at the Oscar's, there were awards handed out, and as I found myself looking something up about an Actor, the SEO took me right to where there are just about innumerable sites paying homage to an actor/actress online.
It's great Right? Being able to actually see them like up close, in High Definition.
It's interesting in life when you experience a Peacefulness. I believe for the past couple of days. Just a sweet quietness, allowing my brain to process more than 80% of what's actually occurring at any one moment. When the simplest touch of my finger hits the key and word becomes magic. But that comes with the sweet soft sounds of Bob Acri. As I continue to listen to his music, I know that I know.
Don't pretend on me, Don't part me out, Don't Act. Yes, lately I feel as though the Television is telling me what to do, what to wear, what to watch on the Television.
A constant bombardment of puchk and something foul.
Don't get me wrong. There are times when my television is universally going in the way of making us learn something. But for the most part it's an advertising tool. And during all the advertisement i believe people get triggered into doing things. Like a hypnotic suggestion.
People don't even notice it, but you see them all out driving somewhere, going somewhere to eat, drink, shop, entertain, something that takes them somewhere, because of the media that the Television imposes.
For years I have been asking myself, whenever I would get in the car, I would #1. Wonder why so many people are on the road? #2. Where is everybody going?
Am I the only one to Wonder that? or when everyone out there in their car, are they wondering where everyone is going too? But the media of Television is a big deal. They sell them in stores with Huge Abundance like it takes up a huge area. Huge!
And imagine all that power, and add the computer.
Mind Boggling:) :(
Thank You Bob Acri, i Tunes, George Benson, John Legend, Diana Krall, thank you all for allowing my brain to download all the crap that goes in from the Television.
Thank You Jennifer Lopez, Chanel 9 News, and thank You Hollywood for the Oscars. I understand how that's a big deal, a big night for you, and recently at the Oscar's, there were awards handed out, and as I found myself looking something up about an Actor, the SEO took me right to where there are just about innumerable sites paying homage to an actor/actress online.
It's great Right? Being able to actually see them like up close, in High Definition.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Nervous Breakdown
The other day, i was in the midst of someone having a nervous breakdown. And if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I don't think I would have known how to phrase and note it. Because, mental illness isn't something that I have had to deal with. Oh there are plenty of times I have seen arguing, confrontations, and fighting amongst my husband or children, but all totaled, I didn't know that it was possible to breakdown like that.
After witnessing this behavior, I felt exhausted, as I had to talk said person down, which drained me; mind body and soul. And I am not a trained therapist. I am not wise to schizophrenia, or bi-polar personalities. I have only seen on television what it appears to be, what possibly causes these upsets, and how this scene always sent someone to the hospital for further treatment.
Making something better out of this situation, I am still working on this, one moment at a time.
After witnessing this behavior, I felt exhausted, as I had to talk said person down, which drained me; mind body and soul. And I am not a trained therapist. I am not wise to schizophrenia, or bi-polar personalities. I have only seen on television what it appears to be, what possibly causes these upsets, and how this scene always sent someone to the hospital for further treatment.
Making something better out of this situation, I am still working on this, one moment at a time.
Monday, February 21, 2011
What a great Weekend
It was long, it was relaxing, and what could have been better except to enjoy it without feeling rushed or tired. There was plenty of time to cook, clean, and socialize during this weekend. Three day weekends should be a rule, right?
Anyway, I am glad to have had this long weekend, i caught up on some much needed chores that i have been putting off. This was perfect for me.
I also had the time to spend with my husband, because our work week gets so hectic, it's great to take a small amount of time and spend it together.
I also spent some very valuable time with my 11-year old grand daughter. We had fun, walking, talking, and laughing. It's been so cold out that we haven't had time to spend outdoors, and even though it was cold, the sky was clear, and we just spent time together. Yes, I call that very productive.
Here's to the night. Enjoy yourself, for tomorrow it's back to the grind.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Greetings salutions how are you
Walk. I am going to walk today. I have been walking everyday now that our weather holds up. Which it has. I wonder; were i to put a picture out here if there would be a way to track it?
I am writing today, i just want to tell of my walk yesterday at our local mall. I didn't pay attention to any of the sales that were out there, i never do my first time out. Maybe because I don't want to be seen as a shopper. There is a lot to become acquainted with, lots of people.
As the wind blew past my ears, i could hear the birds, one crow in particular, just yelling over and over 'going out'. that's what it sounded like anyway. You may have heard the 'going out' crow.
Few cars passing, it was so early, which is a good thing right?
Looking in the distance, more of life passing through the buildings.
I should say here that on Saturday, when my husband, grand daughter and i went out, we got caught up in a traffic jam that led us through the mall. it was so crowded that when we got into the wrong lane it was difficult to pass into the right lane, and ended up taking a trip through the mall. Snow was piled high from the previous week's snowfall, cars were parked on the grassy areas over the curb. Big Trucks. We finally got out by going in a circle but surely it caused us to see... The God of the Mall is well and alive, yet, yesterday when i casually walked through the mall, i saw windows with nothing behind them. I'd say that's just the beginning of the change, of the way we live now, in that; we go online now for nearly everything. And we don't have to take the time to actually speak with people right?
Anyway, I am going to walk again today... May You have a truly blessed day.
I am writing today, i just want to tell of my walk yesterday at our local mall. I didn't pay attention to any of the sales that were out there, i never do my first time out. Maybe because I don't want to be seen as a shopper. There is a lot to become acquainted with, lots of people.
As the wind blew past my ears, i could hear the birds, one crow in particular, just yelling over and over 'going out'. that's what it sounded like anyway. You may have heard the 'going out' crow.
Few cars passing, it was so early, which is a good thing right?
Looking in the distance, more of life passing through the buildings.
I should say here that on Saturday, when my husband, grand daughter and i went out, we got caught up in a traffic jam that led us through the mall. it was so crowded that when we got into the wrong lane it was difficult to pass into the right lane, and ended up taking a trip through the mall. Snow was piled high from the previous week's snowfall, cars were parked on the grassy areas over the curb. Big Trucks. We finally got out by going in a circle but surely it caused us to see... The God of the Mall is well and alive, yet, yesterday when i casually walked through the mall, i saw windows with nothing behind them. I'd say that's just the beginning of the change, of the way we live now, in that; we go online now for nearly everything. And we don't have to take the time to actually speak with people right?
Anyway, I am going to walk again today... May You have a truly blessed day.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
GrandChildren rising early
This morning, it is off to the races. My grand daughters rise the minute i try waking up my 11 year old for school. I know they could probably use more sleep but they don't, they are always so anxious to get in to see me.
Last week, I was so stressed, I couldn't even find a smile for them. I found myself pulling my hair, and being mean to everyone about everything. Then my daughter took them away, and during my quiet time, i found myself missing them, but thankful for the quiet. Well, when they came back, I was so happy to see them, and they didn't even remember that I was stressed. Yeah, I had a second chance to make a better impression on them. So I decided that I would try to always have moments with them that would be picture perfect. No, no one ever takes pictures of me, since I am the one always holding the camera, but, I would not allow my disability to impede on my love for my grand daughters. After all, it wasn't their fault that they were here right? And it's not their fault that they are living with me, right? And it's not their fault that they are only two and can only express themselves with sounds that rub me the wrong way, right?
They are so cute, and sometimes they look at me just the right way, and i melt. So, for all my stress, they have been found to be something easier than I imagined.
Walk on Honey, and Love with all your heart, leaning not on your own understanding.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Good Morning and a happy day to You,
I am doing well this morning, but as I consider a question, i wonder if anyone else would feel like me.
I am living with my daughter and her 3 girls, my grandchildren, 1 girl 11, 2 girls 2 years old. When I get up in the morning they awaken like myself, early, and because i like my computer time early, with my morning coffee i lock my bedroom door to keep them out. Is that wrong?
I have been pondering this question with my own mother. She says that I should never lock them out of my room, and i maintain that i need my privacy. She says that I should be thankful for the time to have to spend with them, and I say, I love them all the more when I get my alone time.
Am I wrong?
Other than that, everything is fine in making something better. Yesterday we had a snow, ice day. We were snowed in with each other and had to find things to do. I of course, haven't been able to watch a movie in a while so I was happy to sit down and watch a movie, but if you have 2 year old around you know what it is to watch a movie with them. (NOT SO GOOD)So, of course, I play a movie i thought they would sit and watch, "The Wiz". Well, during all the beginning of each song they would sit quietly and watch, but by the end of the song, they were all over the room. Toys were spilled all over the living room floor, and attention was always drawn from the movie to them, with the single most used word by them, "LOOK".
But we had fun, we started the day, with putting on lots of clothes and getting out into the snow. What fun:) They are so new, they kept tasting the snow. But they had much fun in the snow. It turned out to be Something better because I allowed myself to know that they are only 2 (two) and as much as grandma loves her alone time, she also loves her grand daughters and will be very tolerant. It takes practice. The very act of blogging about them makes me happier to know that they are living with me and they are safe, and giving credit to my own character, i know that i am being made a better person by this gift of once again having two year olds in my house. Making something better, smile and have a wonderful day.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
25 January 2011
I made it into this year with a bang, (to my head) that is. I fainted on New Years day and busted my head on our glass desk, drawing blood, and tremendous headaches. But I am happy to say that today I feel better.
I AM BACK.
It's been a long time since I entered anything of note. For over a year I worked, but eventually my handicap caught up with me, forcing me to make the difficult decision of leaving that job; then spending half a year, resting only to have 2 of my grown children move back into my home that i was sharing with my husband of 33 years, and my grand daughter that's been a live-in since she was a baby. She's now 11.
And when my daughter came back in, she bought with her 2(two) babies. They are Irish Twins, One born March, the other born December of 2008. Yeah, you could say that 2008 was rich with events, and still is.
Two, 2 year old, I don't envy people with twins, triplets, or more like the Octamom. My son and his wife, split, so he bought his son home, and he was also born in 2008. Yes, we have a houseful now. And I haven't had time to think of my own health, which apparently deteriorated during the year 2009. I found myself having a flu that I couldn't shake except to go to the doctor and get antibiotics.
I also had surgery, one of the pedical screws that was placed in my spine when I had the fusion surgery was sitting on a nerve... I had that removed in 2010 also. Whew.
Just saying all that tires me.
I AM BACK.
It's been a long time since I entered anything of note. For over a year I worked, but eventually my handicap caught up with me, forcing me to make the difficult decision of leaving that job; then spending half a year, resting only to have 2 of my grown children move back into my home that i was sharing with my husband of 33 years, and my grand daughter that's been a live-in since she was a baby. She's now 11.
And when my daughter came back in, she bought with her 2(two) babies. They are Irish Twins, One born March, the other born December of 2008. Yeah, you could say that 2008 was rich with events, and still is.
Two, 2 year old, I don't envy people with twins, triplets, or more like the Octamom. My son and his wife, split, so he bought his son home, and he was also born in 2008. Yes, we have a houseful now. And I haven't had time to think of my own health, which apparently deteriorated during the year 2009. I found myself having a flu that I couldn't shake except to go to the doctor and get antibiotics.
I also had surgery, one of the pedical screws that was placed in my spine when I had the fusion surgery was sitting on a nerve... I had that removed in 2010 also. Whew.
Just saying all that tires me.
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