Life after...

Back in September last year, 2007, I was totally out of life, depressed about being depressed, and feeling like life just killed me over and over again with negatives. I couldn't see that there would ever be any life after I received yet another "disqualified" from the Social Security Disability Board. This was like the 6th or 7th time I have filed. Mind you it was definitely the 3rd time filed within a five year period. In that five years, I had a neck decompression, a fusion on my L4-L5 vertabrae, and then when that fusion failed, I had a second fusion, this time encompassing taking bone marrow from my hip. I have a great many scars on the back of my body, looking like a zipper from the crack of my behind to the edge of my hairline above my neck. Oh believe me, I had my hair shaved for the neck decompression.

After years of living in so much pain, I wished for death daily, I would never have dreamed that Social Security Disability would deny my claim. I have met people in the hospital who were getting disability insurance for a lot less injuries than the one's that I was living with. But they did. Now I know that they have discriminated against me. But who can I take this to? Who's going to go up against the government on the basis of discrimination for disability insurance because my skin is black. Oh, I had lawyers, because each time, I went before a judge, with a lawyer, I was denied. I JUST KNEW THAT MY WHOLE LIFE WAS DENIED.

I am happy to say that today, I don't earn a lot of money, and sometimes, it's not even enough, but getting out of the house and working part time, not only makes me a little money, but it gives me something that I haven't felt in a long time. Responsibility. A feeling of being needed. The knowledge that after it all, I can still answer the phone for a company.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to work full time again, without having to manage my pain, but positive affirmations work. Each morning I arise, I repeat my positive affirmation about healing, and step out into the world in faith. And you know something... after all is said and done, my life is improving. I am a better person because of what I have been through.

And now, my kids are having kids. This year alone, I've been blessed with two new grandchildren. And it looks like I am going to get yet another one in the new year coming. If they don't keep me young and vibrant, I don't know how... maybe it's smelling their essence. Because I cannot get enough of it. Maybe it's their slobber, because teething is happening, and drool happens. Maybe more than anything else, it's hope in their little lives. Hope that this earth will continue to revolve, so that I can see them grow up.

This transformation of my life after another final denial from the Social Security Disability Board is finally a good one. Life is good. And with each day, as I continue to heal within Life's just getting better. From one who's seen some darkness, I am happy to say that life is getting better everyday. Enjoy your day, and take care.

My Sewing Project

It's been a long time for me sitting down to my sewing machine, and making a garment as simply and easily as it really is. Too often these days, I'll run out to Sears, Macy's or JCPenneys to acquire clothing at the expense of my credit card. And while the gas prices rise, causing me to spend much of my expendable cash on gas, I don't have the money anymore to continue to pay high interest rate credit cards. So clothing, which is more like something I love to purchase, is going to once again become, my way of staying current in clothing with the most beautiful colors of my own choice.

Before I can begin anything, I have to organize my tools. Tools of the trade for sewing include a tape measure, pin cushion with pins, pencil and paper, stitch picker and good lighting just to start. Scissors, and when you get into scissors it gets very personal. I like the smallest fiskar scissors for snipping the threads once I have stitched a seam on the sewing machine and serger. And my cutting scissors are a pair that I have maintained for more than 12 years. It's important to keep scissors for sewing projects out of the hands of members of your family, because they tend to use them on paper, which makes them dull. (I Hate Dull Scissors). In addition to the tools aforemented, without fabric you don't have a project, and that's where Fabrics.com comes in. Recently, I purchase a beautiful piece of baby rib knit in yellow from Fabrics.com, and I am completely happy with my purchase. The price was very reasonable, the color likeness was very good on my monitor and appears just as I expected when I received it, and the care with which it was mailed to me was completely secure and cost efficient. I appreciate that because walking into a fabric store physically can lead me to purchasing fabrics that I neither want nor need, just because they have so much in front of me. Well, with Fabrics.com, I went exactly where I wanted to get exactly what I was looking for, and kept the cost down because of it.

I would recommend shopping Fabrics.com to anyone else looking for quality with ease of online shopping. Fabrics.com makes it easy, and they offer near to free shipping for the 1st order. You can't beat it. So, if you're a seamstress and trying to get the best purchase check out Fabrics.com.

Good Morning, or Hey, how are you?

I myself do find. I cant wait til i git out of jayl cuz thin i con fin a reel job. presn theese lisinc plats is hard work an i dont evn git paad. my frind tony he say that...

Just kidding. How silly would it really be to type in that way. But maybe I am just making a point. Even people who can't type or spell need love too, right? I have just watched this film from Louise L Hay, about speaking and thinking positively. About laying affirmations everywhere, and especially saying them up close and personal in the mirror to yourself to change your life.

I am pretty sure that my life needs a change, so I am doing it. I am beginning right here, right now.

I am healing and becoming whole by my words and thoughts.

You go out and have a blessed wonderful positive day.

Josiah Is Here!

Josiah Michael Jefferson, born 27 June 2008 at 8 pounds 15 ounces, 20 and 1/2 inches long. We are so happy to announce that mother Tessa, father, Jefferson and family all welcome in our newest bundle of joy.

Being the grand mother is especially nice. I am just so happy. Since this is now my second baby this year, I am happy to say, being the grandmother is especially nice.

Of course all of the kids are thrilled! Our family is growing so much!

Daughter and grand daughter Amani, just arrived... I will be back later for reflection.

Happy Friday to You

Hey, How are you!??? I hope that you'll say something!

This morning I go in to the hospital to greet yet another grand child. Schedule to induce labor at @7:30am! I will have pictures tomorrow. This makes the second grand child this year!!!! WOW! It's been wonderful. And this time it's going to be a boy. They are naming him Josiah! Cute huh? You'll find his name at 1Kings22:8! He was a king! Thank God by His grace in Christ.

Well, until later, Keep your head up, things can always get better! So Keep Smiling!

My Grand Daughter

Hey! I am very glad that you stopped in to visit. I hope that you'll stay a while, and learn what I am all about! My Grand Daughter's is for sure, one of those things that make my life richer. And everytime I see them I pull out the cameras. I use a small compact digital 6mp, and I have a Canon 8mp SLR!

Trying to catch my grand daughter smiling with the bigger camera requires tripod, lights, etc., but with the little compact it's just point and click... hence, I am able to catch her while I am up close and personal. When I get near her, and she hears my voice, she smiles! And the more I google her, the more she smiles. Hence, I caught her in full smile!!! Isn't it great.

Now I am going to have that picture printed up. And you know, I don't mind using online companies. Recently, I found Clark color labs, and you know their prices are very reasonable. Infact, I don't think that I have found a better price online to date. So when I look to get my pictures printed, I am going to use Clark color labs. Why not? Their printing is great, they are cost effective, and it saves me gas having to run to the drug store for pictures. I can get them mailed to my home via mail. To me that's just good sense.

Saving money from gas. check. $.08 cents a copy. check. Quality printing. check. Why would I chose anyplace else. I chose Clark color labs. Why don't you give it a try?

GrandMother Haven

Hello and how are you? I was on a temporary assignment recently when I found myself going out of the house to earn money. I loved it. But it did make me very fatigued. I am handicapped you know. So now, I have some time, I can come back in and attend to my favorite place, my grand mother heaven! Oh my girls are doing so well. Amani is smiling, just such a happy child, and Faith is swimming, rather, treading water. With the weather so hot, and the price of gas so high, we found ourselves out at the lake this past weekend.

It was great. We played ball, cards, swimming, we even took the dog in the water. No camera's though. I cannot afford to have my camera ruined by water, so I didn't get any pictures, but what a great time we had.

I found out this past weekend that by the 1st of July, I will have another grand child! A boy. I cannot wait. They are such a joy to have in life.

Until tomorrow, Enjoy your evening, and keep smiling.