Nervous Breakdown

The other day, i was in the midst of someone having a nervous breakdown. And if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I don't think I would have known how to phrase and note it. Because, mental illness isn't something that I have had to deal with. Oh there are plenty of times I have seen arguing, confrontations, and fighting amongst my husband or children, but all totaled, I didn't know that it was possible to breakdown like that.

After witnessing this behavior, I felt exhausted, as I had to talk said person down, which drained me; mind body and soul. And I am not a trained therapist. I am not wise to schizophrenia, or bi-polar personalities. I have only seen on television what it appears to be, what possibly causes these upsets, and how this scene always sent someone to the hospital for further treatment.

Making something better out of this situation, I am still working on this, one moment at a time.

What a great Weekend

It was long, it was relaxing, and what could have been better except to enjoy it without feeling rushed or tired. There was plenty of time to cook, clean, and socialize during this weekend. Three day weekends should be a rule, right?
Anyway, I am glad to have had this long weekend, i caught up on some much needed chores that i have been putting off. This was perfect for me.
I also had the time to spend with my husband, because our work week gets so hectic, it's great to take a small amount of time and spend it together.
I also spent some very valuable time with my 11-year old grand daughter. We had fun, walking, talking, and laughing. It's been so cold out that we haven't had time to spend outdoors, and even though it was cold, the sky was clear, and we just spent time together. Yes, I call that very productive.
Here's to the night. Enjoy yourself, for tomorrow it's back to the grind.

Greetings salutions how are you

Walk. I am going to walk today. I have been walking everyday now that our weather holds up. Which it has. I wonder; were i to put a picture out here if there would be a way to track it?
I am writing today, i just want to tell of my walk yesterday at our local mall. I didn't pay attention to any of the sales that were out there, i never do my first time out. Maybe because I don't want to be seen as a shopper. There is a lot to become acquainted with, lots of people.
As the wind blew past my ears, i could hear the birds, one crow in particular, just yelling over and over 'going out'. that's what it sounded like anyway. You may have heard the 'going out' crow.
Few cars passing, it was so early, which is a good thing right?
Looking in the distance, more of life passing through the buildings.
I should say here that on Saturday, when my husband, grand daughter and i went out, we got caught up in a traffic jam that led us through the mall. it was so crowded that when we got into the wrong lane it was difficult to pass into the right lane, and ended up taking a trip through the mall. Snow was piled high from the previous week's snowfall, cars were parked on the grassy areas over the curb. Big Trucks. We finally got out by going in a circle but surely it caused us to see... The God of the Mall is well and alive, yet, yesterday when i casually walked through the mall, i saw windows with nothing behind them. I'd say that's just the beginning of the change, of the way we live now, in that; we go online now for nearly everything. And we don't have to take the time to actually speak with people right?
Anyway, I am going to walk again today... May You have a truly blessed day.

GrandChildren rising early

This morning, it is off to the races. My grand daughters rise the minute i try waking up my 11 year old for school. I know they could probably use more sleep but they don't, they are always so anxious to get in to see me.
Last week, I was so stressed, I couldn't even find a smile for them. I found myself pulling my hair, and being mean to everyone about everything. Then my daughter took them away, and during my quiet time, i found myself missing them, but thankful for the quiet. Well, when they came back, I was so happy to see them, and they didn't even remember that I was stressed. Yeah, I had a second chance to make a better impression on them. So I decided that I would try to always have moments with them that would be picture perfect. No, no one ever takes pictures of me, since I am the one always holding the camera, but, I would not allow my disability to impede on my love for my grand daughters. After all, it wasn't their fault that they were here right? And it's not their fault that they are living with me, right? And it's not their fault that they are only two and can only express themselves with sounds that rub me the wrong way, right?
They are so cute, and sometimes they look at me just the right way, and i melt. So, for all my stress, they have been found to be something easier than I imagined.
Walk on Honey, and Love with all your heart, leaning not on your own understanding.

Good Morning and a happy day to You,

I am doing well this morning, but as I consider a question, i wonder if anyone else would feel like me.
I am living with my daughter and her 3 girls, my grandchildren, 1 girl 11, 2 girls 2 years old. When I get up in the morning they awaken like myself, early, and because i like my computer time early, with my morning coffee i lock my bedroom door to keep them out. Is that wrong?
I have been pondering this question with my own mother. She says that I should never lock them out of my room, and i maintain that i need my privacy. She says that I should be thankful for the time to have to spend with them, and I say, I love them all the more when I get my alone time.
Am I wrong?

Other than that, everything is fine in making something better. Yesterday we had a snow, ice day. We were snowed in with each other and had to find things to do. I of course, haven't been able to watch a movie in a while so I was happy to sit down and watch a movie, but if you have 2 year old around you know what it is to watch a movie with them. (NOT SO GOOD)So, of course, I play a movie i thought they would sit and watch, "The Wiz". Well, during all the beginning of each song they would sit quietly and watch, but by the end of the song, they were all over the room. Toys were spilled all over the living room floor, and attention was always drawn from the movie to them, with the single most used word by them, "LOOK".

But we had fun, we started the day, with putting on lots of clothes and getting out into the snow. What fun:) They are so new, they kept tasting the snow. But they had much fun in the snow. It turned out to be Something better because I allowed myself to know that they are only 2 (two) and as much as grandma loves her alone time, she also loves her grand daughters and will be very tolerant. It takes practice. The very act of blogging about them makes me happier to know that they are living with me and they are safe, and giving credit to my own character, i know that i am being made a better person by this gift of once again having two year olds in my house. Making something better, smile and have a wonderful day.

I look forward to hearing from you.

25 January 2011

I made it into this year with a bang, (to my head) that is. I fainted on New Years day and busted my head on our glass desk, drawing blood, and tremendous headaches. But I am happy to say that today I feel better.
I AM BACK.
It's been a long time since I entered anything of note. For over a year I worked, but eventually my handicap caught up with me, forcing me to make the difficult decision of leaving that job; then spending half a year, resting only to have 2 of my grown children move back into my home that i was sharing with my husband of 33 years, and my grand daughter that's been a live-in since she was a baby. She's now 11.
And when my daughter came back in, she bought with her 2(two) babies. They are Irish Twins, One born March, the other born December of 2008. Yeah, you could say that 2008 was rich with events, and still is.
Two, 2 year old, I don't envy people with twins, triplets, or more like the Octamom. My son and his wife, split, so he bought his son home, and he was also born in 2008. Yes, we have a houseful now. And I haven't had time to think of my own health, which apparently deteriorated during the year 2009. I found myself having a flu that I couldn't shake except to go to the doctor and get antibiotics.
I also had surgery, one of the pedical screws that was placed in my spine when I had the fusion surgery was sitting on a nerve... I had that removed in 2010 also. Whew.
Just saying all that tires me.

Good Morning November

From August to now, life happened, I became a year older,the kids are all getting bigger and older, and things have gone absolutely beserck for the army.
Medical care issues plague our nation, and the wonderful Dr. Oz is educating us all about how to get in better heart health and live longer happier lives.
Somewhere in there, my handicap came back, and living in pain again became second nature. I was absolutely happy with my little part time job, knowing other women of worth, doing something with my life besides lying around the house; but it's all in the past for me now. If you have ever suffered a spinal disorder you too would know what I am talking about. Anyway, I've been here before as you can tell. But since I was living such a busy life, I had no time for blogging... but I am back. And now I am also seeing many doctors about how I can find relief. The recent ban on pain killers hurt, because my doctor doesn't want to help with pain relief. And I am informed that I must take it easy, but it's a lot easier said than done.

Flowing along, righting the wrong, pulling the teeth of the arbitrary thief, this column will be my refuge.