And the Beat Goes On

I find that I'm dreaming at night what information I am going to place in my blog. I heard in the news just yesterday that you need to be careful about what information you put online. Because sometimes, as in the case of disolving a marriage, it can backfire on you! Or not depending on whose side you take! Interesting.

And as gas prices continue to drop, I couldn't be happier. I have my car nearly paid off, and I'm not anxious to go and get an upgrade because I think I would like to find out what it's like not to have that huge car payment! And that's going to allow me to pay down some of my other debt... yes you guessed it, I am struggling to become debt free! It can happen and I look forward! But it's not easy. You really have to turn the tv off, and turn off the shopping. You'll see all the cars in the lots of the malls and strip malls on the weekends. But the point with becoming debt free is really very healthy and allows one to take stock in what they've already spent their money on, and grow. I am feeling like super woman, and we know I am not.

Working everyday, even part time costs me. I won't be getting those easy weeks of unemployment, but I get to be a part of what america represents for just a short period of time during the day, and I believe that my life is happier.

My photography has taken a turn. I love the glass and beads that I recently created! And if I love it, there are others who might!

Life just keeps getting better

Thank You Lord, the gas prices are dropping. No one could be happier than me that they finally shut up all that speculation about the price of oil! Finally we have a reprieve, but do you ever think the price of gas will go back to $36.00 a barrel?

What's up with McCain, besides his low hitting campaign of smearing Obama? I wonder what exactly is his plan, because for the little people down here, you know us bottom feeders, it looks like he is just working for Obama. And when they talk about flip flopping why don't they look at the man who's had the job for 20years, versus the man who's been doing it for 3years. I hate all the speculation. I hate all this occupying my news, really, I'm going to turn my TV off the news until the actual election takes place. SICK OF IT!

Now in the life of time of me, I've become gainfully employed. Permanently part time. And the great part is, no phones!!! I didn't get the working for the call center, making or receiving calls! And this is good, because I don't ever want to work phones again. I don't know who's raised people to cuss you out on the phone, but I don't have to endure that crap anymore. Now I work quietly in an office. In a paperless system? I am not so sure about that. But there must always be hope right?

My grand kids are doing well! I haven't had as much time to spend with them since I have become gainfully employed, and I miss that, but I like the money more! Have a wonderful day.

HAPPY MONDAY!

Good Monday morning to you,

I am actually doing well this morning. I cried like a baby the other day though. I could not stand the pain that I have been enduring in my neck and back. Have you ever felt that way. As an arthritis sufferer, it may have, and possibly you have some type of pill that you can take to alleviate the pain. I don't! The only thing that I have is good old fashioned exercise, or rest. Live less. Mmmm! None of these seems like fun, because I love getting the camera out, going out and taking pictures. I love getting into my sewing area and creating things. I love spending time with my family, and I don't like doing any of it in pain! So yeah, I spent about five minutes crying like a baby. Good thing too. Apparently, I just needed to get it out! Now it's time to go back to work, and I think I don't feel any worse than I did Friday afternoon when I got off!

I attended Church yesterday. That was a miracle in itself. But I want to also find the point of have such a great faith! You might recall the scripture in Luke 7, where the centurion sent a messenger to get Jesus on behalf of his servant who was sick. And the Centurion didn't want Jesus coming in to his home, saying, he was not worthy, but if He would just speak the word, He could heal his servant. And Christ said, in all Judea He hadn't seen such great Faith! I want to have that kind of Faith and not just pray for myself, my family and friends, but I'd like to include a couple of people that I don't know. Acquaintances if you will. Applying that Faith to help someone else. It shall be done. Glory and Honor to God Our Father through Christ Jesus Always.

Now finally, as I go out into the world today, feeling a little better, and maintaining this working life, I hope to create something new this week! Enjoy Your Day and Keep Smiling:)

Good Day to You

How are you doing today. My soul is happy, healthy, and content. #1. I have my health. #2. I love the Lord, and He loves me back. #3. I am confident that I will defeat debt in my future!!!

I am taking a class now entitled, "Where'd my money go?" It's definitely caused me to take stock of exactly what and where I've been putting my money. I know that I have been sort of out of control. You ever go through that? When you'll use the credit card to make a purchase for something that you really don't need. But at the time of purchase, I want it. I love to go shopping. I love purchasing things for my grand kids, but honestly, do I want to spend the next 5 years paying that debt? And is 12% interest ok with me? I had never even given much thought to these questions before, but now I am. I am thinking that I have been completely foolish with my credit cards.

I cannot tell you how much money I have spent on trying to attain a job at home. You know, those simple little advertisements that come into your mailbox offering thousands of dollars a day working from home. It's completely crazy the amount of power those little ads have on someone who's hurting, broke, and depressed. I have finally had to cut up my credit cards so that I won't use them. So that I won't even be a little tempted. If I don't have the cash, I don't need it.

And now I see what's happening in the news with the real estate bail out. Are you kidding me? It's not like I haven't sacrificed to continue to pay my own mortgage in a market that costs me more for food and gasoline. And why must I now be penalized for doing the right thing? I am not in agreement with the Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac Bailout! But does how I feel about it help me at all?

This is going to be difficult to let go of. Because this will cost me in taxes just as much as it will cost my grand children and great grand children for all the tax cuts that have massaged the nation. Not to mention the fact that I won't be able to count on social security for my future when I am too old to work. Never mind that I just spent the past five years having major surgeries and not getting disability insurance for it. More than anything this pisses me off royally because I have to pay into the system when I work, yet as a handicapped person I cannot get my return. Oh I am ANGRY, BLOOD RED MAD about this.

Hence, the cause for my blog. The last time the Social Security Administration Disability Board declined my case for disability, I began blogging, just to have an outlet, and initially, it worked, but the news recently, about me having to pay for the Bail OUT of the Real Estate situation just causes great stress inside me with no release! I could scream!

Is there no wonder why people go postal!!!

Last week I worked a 40 hour week, just sitting and answering a phone, and because of my handicap I spent the weekend and everyday through Wednesday, working part time and resting, just to make ends meet in the financial ends of my home, and I don't qualify for disability insurance. No one could ever convince me that I wasn't discriminited against. Maybe it's because I am black, but I would never be able to prove that. I simply must move on. Trying to resolve that I do what I do, and that's all I can do.

Knowing all that, I intend to leave the written word, and get out and go to my part time job that helps me make some money to survive this existence. I will keep smiling, because that's what gets me through. Enjoy your day!

All's well in the land of Silver Fox

Hello, Hay, and Good Morning to you! I do fine this morning. It's nearing lunch time though. This morning I ran out the house and forgot my lunch after taking the time to make it! Fortunately, my husband brought it down to me. It's easy when you live in a place with less than a million population, because the downtown is a lot smaller!!!

Yesterday evening we got our Cadillac out of the shop. I totally enjoyed my ride in this morning. I love Cadillac! Truly. And I especially love not having a car payment!

Anyway, recently you know I had another grand child born, Josiah Michael. Well, I wanted to find out what Clarklabs.com was all about. They advertise that they print photos for 8 cents a copy, and my estimate is that is 1/2 price of what Walgreens charges. So I went for it. The upload was quick. The process was user friendly, and to top it off, they gave me 20 free photos with my 1st order! Am I a happy customer. You bet I am, and I didn't have to wait forever to get the photos, they came in a week. And that was due to the 4th of July falling on a Friday. So will I recommend Clarklab.com? You bet. Cost, quality, and expediency all mark for quality internet shopping experience. If you are like me, and you are always looking for ways to save money, I can't say it enough. Clarklab.com should be your choice!!!

Enough of the commercial, I found out last weekend that my daughter is expecting another baby in February of 2009! Incredible huh? She's happy though, so I am happy for her. In light of all these kids I have upgraded my photoshop Elements program to Elements 6 and that included Premiere 4. Soon I'll be taking video.
My grand kids are turning out to be the most photographed people of all the family. When I was young, and I don't want to say when that was, but photography wasn't what it is today. I love that I can take photos and process them within a matter of minutes. What could be faster:) And then with the single session online, I can have them ordered and coming to me via snail mail in a beautiful photo book within a matter of days. Life just keeps getting better where photos are concerned. Really, what will they think of next?

Hey, you go out and enjoy your day.

TWINS

Congratulations to my brother Tony. On the 7th of July, his daughter gave birth to twin boys. The most recent picture that I received from him showed him holding both boys, one on each arm for the camera to see. His grin was enough to let everyone know that he was proud.

Our family is growing by leaps and bounds this year. And to top it off, my daughter is about to have another child. Another child, hopefully a boy. So that she can have herself completely insured against any further propagating. Not that she's not doing well, she's doing fine, but with the cost of living these days, I am just frightened a little for her. But... when I think back, wasn't it the same for us. We started our family, and at that time, it was just like it is now... prices are always on the rise, and the cost of fuel has been going up for so many years that I really cannot remember... although I liked driving a lot more when it was less expensive.

Speaking of driving... I love a road trip. I love driving. Hitting the highway headed for some state that I have been too in the past, and just driving. Listening to the music, watching the automobiles pass; seeing all the truckers on the roads moving things from someplace to another place. I love seeing the cities grow. I have driven from California to Pennsylvania on I80. I have hit the road from California to Chicago. I have traveled the souther route through Texas from California. I have gone from here to there and back again. And loved every minute of it.

Long are gone the days. Right now, I am struggling just to get from home to work with the vehicle that I drive. I am working on finding employment at home, but until that happens I keep trying to find employment that will be closer to where I live rather than commute.

But Praise be to God, yesterday the cost of a barrell of oil actually dropped. DROPPED more than 6.00 a barrell. Should I continue to hope that it's going to continue to go lower. From my keyboard to God's ears! It would be nice to get back out and just drive...but right now... I am looking for a commuter car. A car that can give me more than 30 miles to the gallon. With all the comfort of the Cadillac that I own! It could happen!

So, as this family grows by these leaps and bounds we are going to have to get together. Looks like a Family Reunion is in our future! I'd better start saving my lunch money huh!!??!!

Life after...

Back in September last year, 2007, I was totally out of life, depressed about being depressed, and feeling like life just killed me over and over again with negatives. I couldn't see that there would ever be any life after I received yet another "disqualified" from the Social Security Disability Board. This was like the 6th or 7th time I have filed. Mind you it was definitely the 3rd time filed within a five year period. In that five years, I had a neck decompression, a fusion on my L4-L5 vertabrae, and then when that fusion failed, I had a second fusion, this time encompassing taking bone marrow from my hip. I have a great many scars on the back of my body, looking like a zipper from the crack of my behind to the edge of my hairline above my neck. Oh believe me, I had my hair shaved for the neck decompression.

After years of living in so much pain, I wished for death daily, I would never have dreamed that Social Security Disability would deny my claim. I have met people in the hospital who were getting disability insurance for a lot less injuries than the one's that I was living with. But they did. Now I know that they have discriminated against me. But who can I take this to? Who's going to go up against the government on the basis of discrimination for disability insurance because my skin is black. Oh, I had lawyers, because each time, I went before a judge, with a lawyer, I was denied. I JUST KNEW THAT MY WHOLE LIFE WAS DENIED.

I am happy to say that today, I don't earn a lot of money, and sometimes, it's not even enough, but getting out of the house and working part time, not only makes me a little money, but it gives me something that I haven't felt in a long time. Responsibility. A feeling of being needed. The knowledge that after it all, I can still answer the phone for a company.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to work full time again, without having to manage my pain, but positive affirmations work. Each morning I arise, I repeat my positive affirmation about healing, and step out into the world in faith. And you know something... after all is said and done, my life is improving. I am a better person because of what I have been through.

And now, my kids are having kids. This year alone, I've been blessed with two new grandchildren. And it looks like I am going to get yet another one in the new year coming. If they don't keep me young and vibrant, I don't know how... maybe it's smelling their essence. Because I cannot get enough of it. Maybe it's their slobber, because teething is happening, and drool happens. Maybe more than anything else, it's hope in their little lives. Hope that this earth will continue to revolve, so that I can see them grow up.

This transformation of my life after another final denial from the Social Security Disability Board is finally a good one. Life is good. And with each day, as I continue to heal within Life's just getting better. From one who's seen some darkness, I am happy to say that life is getting better everyday. Enjoy your day, and take care.